Blacky

1996-2003

Today i had to put my dog down cause he had cancer. He will be missed and remembered. I honestly feel that he stood out from other dogs in ways that made him much more like one of us than a simple pet. He was a great friend and family member. I do not believe that any other canine could have brought as much happiness to our family as Blacky did. He was smart, well-behaived, and full of personality. Blacky never lost his energetic puppism, he would run all day through the yard as fast as he could. He even worn out a track in the back yard. Usually when the landscapers come over they ask if we have a dirtbike or something. I have way too many memories to put all here today. If you ask i’ll tell you some. But i believe alot of us have many keen memories of blacky, and as an atheist i believe that is important because i feel that we do live on in the memories others have of us, as blacky will. I’d also like to thank all of my friends for their support today, it really has meant alot. Thank you.

Ok. uh, not much going on. i watched “The Salton Sea” yesterday. Great movie. uh, you know what, whatever. F*ck off. Bye.

You know, at work I feel kinda like one of them invisible people. Do you know the one’s i’m talking about?. Probably not. Anyway, I don’t really like my job. I think its really starting to make me a hollow person. I have a story to tell, One that i haven’t told anyone up until now. i don’t know why but it still bothers me. I used to take karate you see, and i loved it. The people there almost became something of a second family. One day i quit, i don’t really remember why. I quit in writing, after about like seven years of taking karate there. And maybe a week or so later, i got a call from my sensei, he told me that uh, he wanted me to go in and talk to him about why i wanted to quit and, um, told me that that uh, you know, we’ve known you for a long time and stuff and uh just giving us a letter isn’t really a great thing to do. you know. he told me that i should go in and see them because just writting a note was a pretty cowardly thing to do and you know, that i should go in there and see him and stuff you know? but uh. that was about four years ago.. and uh, i never did. I don’t really know why. i just couldn’t face them, you know? you might think it’s funny how something little like that can get to a person. I thought about going there. you know. but i don’t really know what they’d say. anyway, it’s funny how isolation can bring stuff like that to the surface isn’t it. anyway, i’ve been working out some. No real results yet, but i’m feeling a little better physically. I watched Taxi Driver a couple of nights ago. great movie. I forgot how liberating online journals can be. but it’s hard to right stuff when every god-damned day seems like just another copy of yesterday. I’m sick of this. That’s all for today.

haven’t posted in awhile. been busy. Eat life.